If someone in your life is struggling with gambling, you may be carrying worry, stress, anger, fear, or exhaustion. You don’t have to navigate this alone. Support is available for families and friends, too.
Start with concern, not blame.
Focus on observable changes in their behavior and how it’s affecting your relationship, such as, “I feel anxious when I see our savings dipping,” or “I’ve noticed you’ve been more stressed lately, and I’m worried about you.” Opening the door with empathy makes it easier for them to walk through it.
Set clear financial and emotional boundaries.
Setting boundaries helps protect your own well-being. A financial boundary might mean taking over the household bills, having separate bank accounts, or refusing to bail them out of a gambling debt. Set an emotional boundary by deciding what you will and won’t tolerate. You might say, “I love you and I want to support your recovery, but I will not lie to your family to cover for your gambling.”
Avoid trying to solve the problem on your own.
Loved ones often fall into a fixer role and try to manage the loved one’s schedule or pay off their bookie; but this can lead to burnout and can unintentionally enable their cycle. Encourage them to call 1-800-GAMBLER or speak to a specialist. Recognize, though, that the responsibility for their recovery ultimately rests with them.
Seek support for yourself through peer groups or counseling.
Organizations like Gam-Anon are specifically for the friends and family of those with gambling problems. Hearing from others who have navigated the same situation can be healing. A therapist can also help you work through your feelings and help you figure out how to take care of yourself, regardless of whether your loved one chooses to stop gambling or not.
Remember that recovery can take time. Your support is a powerful tool, but it works best when it’s paired with a commitment to your own health and peace of mind.
