How to Deal with Ghosting and Zombie-ing in Dating

Let’s have some real talk about two things that plague the dating scene in Philadelphia: ghosting and zombie-ing. If you have not been through them, you probably know someone who has. HealthyMindsPhilly’s got your back!

Ghosting

When someone you have been texting with, talking to, or dating just straight up vanishes, you’ve been ghosted. Poof! No explanation, no goodbye, just poof – gone like they never existed. One minute you are texting every day, making plans, and the next, crickets. It is like they turned into a magic trick, leaving you wondering what happened.

Zombie-ing

Zombie-ing is when that ghost decides to come back from the land of the disappeared. They may text you to test the waters “Hey stranger” text like nothing ever happened. They start liking your posts, sliding in your DMs, acting all cute. It is enough that you want to throw your phone across the Schuylkill River.

Both situations can mess with your head and feelings.

You start questioning yourself, wondering if you did something wrong, or if you’re just not good enough. If you have abandonment issues or have experienced caregivers who were not always there for you, ghosting and zombie-ing can be especially triggering.

But ghosting and zombie-ing are not about you.

So how do we deal with these things without losing our well-being?

First things first: you must recognize your worth. You are a person who deserves to be treated with care and respect. Nobody deserves to be ghosted or zombied.

When it comes to these experiences, give yourself time to feel your feelings. It is okay to be hurt or angry. Talk to your friends, hit the gym, or go demolish some cheesesteaks at Jim’s on South Street. Do whatever you need to do to process those emotions.

You can also chat with a HealthyMindsPhilly Chatline specialist and ask for help if your negative feelings are taking over. Dating can be very stressful and some of us need professional help to stay healthy.

Remember, healthy relationships are built on communication and respect.

Keep your head up, stay true to yourself, and know that the right person will appreciate you for who you are – no disappearing acts required. Stay strong, you got this.