{"id":27712,"date":"2022-02-14T07:57:41","date_gmt":"2022-02-14T12:57:41","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/healthymindsphilly.org\/?p=27712"},"modified":"2022-02-02T11:35:18","modified_gmt":"2022-02-02T16:35:18","slug":"lets-talk-about-teen-dating-violence","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/healthymindsphilly.org\/dev\/blog\/lets-talk-about-teen-dating-violence\/","title":{"rendered":"Let&#8217;s Talk About Teen Dating Violence"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><div class=\"fusion-fullwidth fullwidth-box fusion-builder-row-1 fusion-flex-container nonhundred-percent-fullwidth non-hundred-percent-height-scrolling\" style=\"--awb-border-radius-top-left:0px;--awb-border-radius-top-right:0px;--awb-border-radius-bottom-right:0px;--awb-border-radius-bottom-left:0px;--awb-flex-wrap:wrap;\" ><div class=\"fusion-builder-row fusion-row fusion-flex-align-items-flex-start fusion-flex-content-wrap\" style=\"max-width:1185.6px;margin-left: calc(-4% \/ 2 );margin-right: calc(-4% \/ 2 );\"><div class=\"fusion-layout-column fusion_builder_column fusion-builder-column-0 fusion_builder_column_1_1 1_1 fusion-flex-column\" style=\"--awb-bg-size:cover;--awb-width-large:100%;--awb-margin-top-large:0px;--awb-spacing-right-large:1.92%;--awb-margin-bottom-large:20px;--awb-spacing-left-large:1.92%;--awb-width-medium:100%;--awb-order-medium:0;--awb-spacing-right-medium:1.92%;--awb-spacing-left-medium:1.92%;--awb-width-small:100%;--awb-order-small:0;--awb-spacing-right-small:1.92%;--awb-spacing-left-small:1.92%;\"><div class=\"fusion-column-wrapper fusion-column-has-shadow fusion-flex-justify-content-flex-start fusion-content-layout-column\"><div class=\"fusion-text fusion-text-1\"><p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">You<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u2019re at a family <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">gathering. Your kids trade TikToks with cousins while you pass out cookies and cider.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your 14-year-old<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">,<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> John, walks into the kitchen when Uncle Pete yells, \u201cI heard someone has a <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">girlfriend!\u201d <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cOohs\u201d and \u201caahs\u201d fill the room. John, red faced, spins around to get the heck out.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Uncle Pete calls after him, \u201cYou make sure you\u2019re treating that girl right!\u201d <\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Maybe Uncle Pete is teasing, but what if you took the question seriously:\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is John treating his girlfriend \u201cright?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Is <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">he <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">being treated \u201cright?\u201d\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">What does \u201cright\u201d look like? What about \u201cwrong?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">February is <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.teendvmonth.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b>Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month<\/b><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">. So, let\u2019s tackle some common questions.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>What is teen dating violence? <\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">It\u2019s easy to go on the defense &#8211; John is your son, he would never hurt a fly. But teen dating violence isn\u2019t only physical.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Dating abuse is a pattern of behaviors meant to gain power over a partner. Abuse can take many forms: physical, psychological, emotional, sexual, and online. <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.chop.edu\/news\/health-tip\/facts-about-teen-dating-violence-and-how-you-can-help-prevent-it\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b>About 1 in 3 teens experiences some kind of dating abuse<\/b><\/a> <span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">in the United States. In teen relationships, abusive control could include:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Telling a partner not to spend time with friends or family\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Asking them to repeatedly skip activities to spend time together instead\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Needing to know where they are always\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Accusing them of cheating repeatedly\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><b>Aren\u2019t They \u2018Just Kids?\u2019<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Your kid is laying groundwork for their future. John may not be in <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">this <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">relationship forever. But, he will be <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">in relationships<\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> forever. This is his first chance to learn what a healthy relationship is. One way to help is by respecting privacy. Ask: \u201cCan I share that you have a girlfriend with the family? Is there anything you\u2019d prefer me not to say?\u201d This can eliminate surprise reveals for John and show the relationship should be taken seriously.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Talk the Talk<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">These conversations may be awkward, but talking about healthy relationships is necessary. Help your kids learn early about respect, boundaries, power dynamics, and <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.loveisrespect.org\/everyone-deserves-a-healthy-relationship\/understand-consent\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b>consent<\/b><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Starting the conversation can be as simple as:\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cI know you and [partner] went to the party last night, how was it?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cHow is it going with [ partner]? Do they seem happy when you are together? Are you?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u201cWhat do you like about being with them?\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">For more helpful tips, check out this <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.loveisrespect.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/media\/sites\/3\/2021\/09\/Parent-Guide-2021_TAF_love-is-respect.pdf\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b>Parent Guide for teen dating violence<\/b><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">.<\/span><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">If you don\u2019t feel comfortable or able to talk to your teen, offer them resources. Send them this <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.loveisrespect.org\/quizzes\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b>relationship quiz<\/b><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> where they can privately get feedback. Or offer this <\/span><a href=\"https:\/\/www.loveisrespect.org\/quiz\/am-i-a-good-partner\/?%3E\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><b>live chat<\/b><\/a><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\"> where they can reach support.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Walk the Walk<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Young people learn by watching. You can model healthy behaviors with your own close relationships. It may be uncomfortable to have a conflict with someone in front of your teen but, if you do, it\u2019s an opportunity to resolve it in front of them too. Your example will last.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><b>Now What?<\/b><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">When it comes to John (and your teen) remember:\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Their relationship deserves to be taken seriously.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Help them stay present and curious: How do they feel about it? Have they talked to their partner about how the partner feels?\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Offer resources. Talk about relationships in casual conversation.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<li style=\"font-weight: 400;\" aria-level=\"1\"><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Model respectful conflict resolution and open communication.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">Teens need to <\/span><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">learn <\/span><\/i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">what a healthy relationship feels like. Help your teen learn early.\u00a0\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p><i><span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">About the Author: Alexandra Lenihan is the MSW intern at the Office of Domestic Violence Strategies for the City of Philadelphia.<\/span><\/i><\/p>\n<\/div><div class=\"fusion-text fusion-text-2\"><h2 style=\"text-align: center;\">RESOURCES<\/h2>\n<\/div><div class=\"fusion-text fusion-text-3\"><p>If you think your teen is experiencing dating violence you can always contact either the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.phila.gov\/services\/crime-law-justice\/abuse-and-harassment\/get-help-with-domestic-violence\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><i>Philadelphia Domestic Violence Hotline<\/i>:<\/a> 1-866-723-3014 or the<a href=\"https:\/\/www.thehotline.org\/news\/new-national-teen-dating-abuse-helpline\/#:~:text=The%20National%20Domestic%20Violence%20Hotline%20and%20Liz%20Claiborne,at%20the%20National%20Press%20Club%20in%20Washington%20DC.\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"> <i>National Teen Dating Violence Hotline<\/i><\/a> by calling <a href=\"tel:+18663319474\">1-866-331-9474<\/a> or texting \u201cLOVEIS\u201d to 22522.<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<p>Join the Office of Domestic Violence Strategies for <a href=\"https:\/\/us02web.zoom.us\/webinar\/register\/WN_oIy776adT7-LOW3lmBxKyg\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Teen Dating Violence: A Parents\u2019 Workshop on Tough Conversations<\/a> on Feb. 22 from noon to 1 p.m. on Zoom. Panelists will share information, demonstrate conversation starters for talking about healthy relationships, and answer audience questions.<span style=\"font-weight: 400;\">\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fusion-fullwidth fullwidth-box fusion-builder-row-2 fusion-flex-container nonhundred-percent-fullwidth non-hundred-percent-height-scrolling\" style=\"--awb-border-radius-top-left:0px;--awb-border-radius-top-right:0px;--awb-border-radius-bottom-right:0px;--awb-border-radius-bottom-left:0px;--awb-flex-wrap:wrap;\" ><div class=\"fusion-builder-row fusion-row fusion-flex-align-items-flex-start fusion-flex-content-wrap\" style=\"max-width:1185.6px;margin-left: calc(-4% \/ 2 );margin-right: calc(-4% \/ 2 );\"><div class=\"fusion-layout-column fusion_builder_column fusion-builder-column-1 fusion_builder_column_1_4 1_4 fusion-flex-column\" style=\"--awb-bg-size:cover;--awb-width-large:25%;--awb-margin-top-large:0px;--awb-spacing-right-large:7.68%;--awb-margin-bottom-large:20px;--awb-spacing-left-large:7.68%;--awb-width-medium:100%;--awb-order-medium:0;--awb-spacing-right-medium:1.92%;--awb-spacing-left-medium:1.92%;--awb-width-small:100%;--awb-order-small:0;--awb-spacing-right-small:1.92%;--awb-spacing-left-small:1.92%;\"><div class=\"fusion-column-wrapper fusion-column-has-shadow fusion-flex-justify-content-flex-start fusion-content-layout-column\"><div ><a class=\"fusion-button button-flat fusion-button-default-size button-default fusion-button-default button-1 fusion-button-default-span fusion-button-default-type\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"https:\/\/www.loveisrespect.org\/?gclid=Cj0KCQiAnuGNBhCPARIsACbnLzqtJzSEqf2p3YhTQHdFap6F3_of44SgJWli_v1m5UYmE4tCkGlxaP0aAhoxEALw_wcB\"><span class=\"fusion-button-text\">Love Is Respect<\/span><\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fusion-layout-column fusion_builder_column fusion-builder-column-2 fusion_builder_column_1_4 1_4 fusion-flex-column\" style=\"--awb-bg-size:cover;--awb-width-large:25%;--awb-margin-top-large:0px;--awb-spacing-right-large:7.68%;--awb-margin-bottom-large:20px;--awb-spacing-left-large:7.68%;--awb-width-medium:100%;--awb-order-medium:0;--awb-spacing-right-medium:1.92%;--awb-spacing-left-medium:1.92%;--awb-width-small:100%;--awb-order-small:0;--awb-spacing-right-small:1.92%;--awb-spacing-left-small:1.92%;\"><div class=\"fusion-column-wrapper fusion-column-has-shadow fusion-flex-justify-content-flex-start fusion-content-layout-column\"><div ><a class=\"fusion-button button-flat fusion-button-default-size button-default fusion-button-default button-2 fusion-button-default-span fusion-button-default-type\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"https:\/\/www.loveisrespect.org\/\"><span class=\"fusion-button-text\">Parent Guide <\/span><\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fusion-layout-column fusion_builder_column fusion-builder-column-3 fusion_builder_column_1_4 1_4 fusion-flex-column\" style=\"--awb-bg-size:cover;--awb-width-large:25%;--awb-margin-top-large:0px;--awb-spacing-right-large:7.68%;--awb-margin-bottom-large:20px;--awb-spacing-left-large:7.68%;--awb-width-medium:100%;--awb-order-medium:0;--awb-spacing-right-medium:1.92%;--awb-spacing-left-medium:1.92%;--awb-width-small:100%;--awb-order-small:0;--awb-spacing-right-small:1.92%;--awb-spacing-left-small:1.92%;\"><div class=\"fusion-column-wrapper fusion-column-has-shadow fusion-flex-justify-content-flex-start fusion-content-layout-column\"><div ><a class=\"fusion-button button-flat fusion-button-default-size button-default fusion-button-default button-3 fusion-button-default-span fusion-button-default-type\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"https:\/\/www.loveisrespect.org\/dating-basics-for-healthy-relationships\/warning-signs-of-abuse\/\"><span class=\"fusion-button-text\">Warning Signs of Dating Violence<\/span><\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div><div class=\"fusion-layout-column fusion_builder_column fusion-builder-column-4 fusion_builder_column_1_4 1_4 fusion-flex-column\" style=\"--awb-bg-size:cover;--awb-width-large:25%;--awb-margin-top-large:0px;--awb-spacing-right-large:7.68%;--awb-margin-bottom-large:20px;--awb-spacing-left-large:7.68%;--awb-width-medium:100%;--awb-order-medium:0;--awb-spacing-right-medium:1.92%;--awb-spacing-left-medium:1.92%;--awb-width-small:100%;--awb-order-small:0;--awb-spacing-right-small:1.92%;--awb-spacing-left-small:1.92%;\"><div class=\"fusion-column-wrapper fusion-column-has-shadow fusion-flex-justify-content-flex-start fusion-content-layout-column\"><div ><a class=\"fusion-button button-flat fusion-button-default-size button-default fusion-button-default button-4 fusion-button-default-span fusion-button-default-type\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\" href=\"https:\/\/www.loveisrespect.org\/everyone-deserves-a-healthy-relationship\/understand-consent\/\"><span class=\"fusion-button-text\">Understanding Consent<\/span><\/a><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/div><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":27731,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[902],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-27712","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-youth"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.2 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Let&#039;s Talk About Teen Dating Violence - Healthy Minds Philly\u00ae<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"noindex, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta 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