Sexual violence can impact anyone, no matter their gender identity or sexual orientation. Some people assume sexual assault is an issue faced only by girls and women, but sexual assault also impacts one in six boys and men.
“Traditional masculinity can create barriers to accessing care both internally and externally,” says Joey Brodsky, the Healthy Masculinity Coordinator at WOAR: Philadelphia Center Against Sexual Violence. “Broadening our idea of survivorship to include all genders is essential to breaking cycles of harm that lead to continued violence in our homes and communities.”
Myths about male survivors
There are a lot of harmful myths surrounding rape, sexual assault, and abuse. It is important to understand what is and isn’t true so we can better support survivors.
Supporting male survivors
Stigma for male survivors, Brodsky explains, “might look like someone fearing they will be seen as less of a man for experiencing sexual violence or it might look like someone not being believed when they disclose.”
Here are some ways we can all support someone who shares their experience of sexual assault or abuse:
- Listen and validate their experience. It is hard for many survivors to disclose harmful experiences. Show you care by giving your undivided attention and validate how they are feeling. This can be as simple as, “I believe you” or “I’m so sorry you experienced that. It’s not your fault.”
- Do not ask the details of the assault. A survivor may willingly share the specifics of the assault with you. If they choose not to, refrain from asking questions about details.
- Offer support. Survivors may blame themselves. Remind them that no matter what, this experience was not their fault. And emphasize that they did nothing to deserve this.
- Ask them what they need. A survivor might not know what they want to do yet, and that’s ok. Ask them what they need from you in this moment, “I really appreciate you trusting me with this. What can I do to help you?”
- Check in periodically. Everyone’s timeline for healing is different. Remind the survivor that you still care about them and their well-being.
If you or someone you know needs immediate help, call or text WOAR: The Philadelphia Center Against Sexual Violence’s free and confidential 24/7 hotline at 215-985-333.
There are resources out there for male survivors of adult or childhood sexual assault or abuse.
About the Author: Emily Walter is pursuing her masters of social work at the University of Pennsylvania with a concentration in macro social work. She is an intern with the Office of Domestic Violence Strategies with the City of Philadelphia.