Many men and boys grow up hearing messages like “toughen up” or “boys don’t cry.” Those messages can make it hard to speak up when they are stressed, sad, or overwhelmed. But talking about feelings is a strength, not a weakness. It can protect mental health, improve relationships, and even reduce risk for serious crises.
Support the men and boys in your life by noticing and naming what you see without judgment. You might say, “You have seemed really stressed after work lately,” or “I’ve noticed you’ve been quieter than usual. How are you really doing?”
Open ended questions invite more than a yes or a no response, and show that you care about their experience, not just their performance.
It also helps to go first. When adults and peers model emotional honesty, it gives permission for others to do the same. Share something like, “I’ve been feeling anxious about money lately, and talking about it helps me,” or “I felt really discouraged after that meeting.” Keeping it brief and age appropriate shows it is normal to have a range of emotions and to talk about them.
Create low pressure moments to talk. Many people find it easier to open up when you are doing something side by side, walking in the neighborhood, driving, playing games, or watching a game together. You do not have to force a deep talk.
Instead, stay curious, listen more than you speak, and resist the urge to immediately fix or problem solve. Simple responses like “That sounds really hard” or “I am glad you told me” can go a long way.
Remind the men and boys in your life that help is available. Let them know it is okay to talk to a trusted adult, coach, teacher, faith leader, or health professional.
Healthy Minds Philly offers free online mental health screenings, information, and links to local support and crisis resources, regardless of insurance or income. If you are ever concerned that someone might be at risk of harming themselves, call or text 988 for immediate support.
Reaching out and having real conversations about feelings can be the first step toward healing, and no one has to take that step alone.
Read more blogs about men’s health.
